I don't mean the ones under a bridge, I mean the ones on the internet that go around fucking up everyone's day. I have never really let any of them get to me, but they bother a lot of people for no reason at all, and that's what pisses me off. Many of you are familiar with the troll face (he's a meme that is basically a giant dick, and for some reason everybody loves him), but they aren't very funny in real life. I now present the various types of trolls.
The Troll Meme
|The Troll Doll (I Hate This Thing)|
|The Awesome Trolls (From "Homestuck")|
|The Internet Trolls (How I Picture Them)|
|The Internet Trolls (How They Actually Are)|
The Troll has one simple purpose in life: be an ass. They feel so powerless in their own lives that they go on the internet and make everyone feel worse so that they feel better by comparison. Remember that bully you had in school? Picture him/her 30 years older, balding, 40 pounds heavier, and broke off their ass. You smiled, didn't you? Well, that's what a Troll is. A simple saying to remember:
Trolls: Commenting live from Mom's basement 24/7.
That made you smile too, huh? I myself like to laugh the hurt away (Natalie and I get YouTube trolls, so I always reply to their comments with humor/sarcasm and it makes me laugh), so usually it doesn't hurt me. These Trolls really do hurt people, though, so I thought I'd share some tips on trolling the Trolls.
Tip #1: Don't let them get to you.
This is Step 1. If the troll gets you down, they got exactly what they wanted. Some tricks to keeping your chin up are as follows:
a. Picture what their moms would do to them if they knew what they were doing.
b. Know that they probably dropped out of high school/college.
c. Realize that 90% of their "trolls" have spelling errors. Oh, the laughs!
d. Look at their profiles. I guarantee something stupid/lame will pop up.
Tip #2: Be the sane one.
Now that you're standing your ground, you can reply to their comments without saying anything mean. Simply use calmness to disarm their comments. An example:
Troll: "This video sux. don't u get that nobody cares about you?!?!?!"
You: "While you may not personally like the video, the 2 million likes and 4 billion views disagree."
See how easy? How do you respond in a mean way? Chances are they'll try, but it won't be strong so don't worry.
Tip #3: Perfect. Spelling.
Trolls can't spell. It's basically a natural law with them. If you reply to them using grammatically correct sentences, who do you think people will believe? Obviously the more educated one.
Tip #4: Humor.
My personal favorite is humor. If you reply to their "trolls" in a funny way, they can't get back their power. Try dead-ending them. This is when you make a statement that is undoubtedly the end of the conversation. Here's an actual example from our YouTube channel:
How are they supposed to respond to that? We basically said "Uh huh, sure. Whatever you say, bro." Plus, am I the only one who noticed that Miss Jennifer Hatcher looks like she popped out of an 80's music video? Sorry, Jen, statin' the truth.
Trolled back. Boom.
Anyway, that concludes this post. Don't let the Trolls get their way. They just want to piss you off. Bye for now, and don't let the Trolls get to you!